Mere Mann Mein Kya Chal Raha Hai?

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Main kya kar raha hoon,
kyun kar raha hoon,
kya soch raha hoon,
kya plan hai,
kya chahta hoon—

mere mann mein kya chal raha hai,
mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha.

Raat ko der tak jagta hoon.
Na padh raha hoon,
na kahin baahar ja raha hoon.
Main kisse kya bol raha hoon,
ye bhi samajh nahi aa raha.

Main itna kyun soch raha hoon?
Aakhir main chahta kya hoon—
ye bhi samajh nahi aa raha.

Zyada kisi se baat nahi kar paata.
Aisa nahi hai ki baat karna nahi chahta,
par log milte hi nahi.
Waise bhi,
kisko kya bataun?
Khud ko hi samajh nahi aa raha.

Koi pooch leta hai,
“Kaise ho?”
“Kaisi chal rahi hai padhai?”
aur main jhooth bol deta hoon.

Par main jhooth bol hi kyun raha hoon?
Main sach keh kyun nahi deta?

Na jaane ye sab
isi waqt kyun hona tha…
Mera mann kahin aur hai,
dhyaan kahin aur.
Main chahta kuch aur hoon,
aur ho kuch aur raha hai.

Ab to ye bhi samajh nahi aa raha
ki jo kar raha hoon,
wo sahi bhi hai ya nahi.

Raat ko der tak jaagna,
un kaale aasmaanon mein
sitaaron ke beech
apni zindagi ko dhoondhna,
apne mann ki shanti ko dhoondhna…

Us chaand ko dekh kar
aage badhne ki khwahish hoti hai,
par na jaane kyun
wo poori hi nahi hoti.

Mujhe pata hai,
koi bhi cheez plan ke hisaab se nahi hoti.
Humein pata hota hai
ye sab ho sakta hai,
phir bhi hum bharose pe jeete rehte hain.

Ye shayad sahi umar nahi hai
ye sab kehne ki.
Mujhe kya hi pata hai?
Main to abhi sirf 17 saal ka hoon,
18 ka bhi nahi hua.

Phir bhi shayad
ye sab kismat ki baat hai.

Maine wo sab dekh liya hai
jo shayad mere dadaji
aur unke dadaji ne bhi
nahi dekha hoga.

Par pata nahi kyun,
mujhe kabhi samajh nahi aata
ki ye sab ho kyun raha hai.

Jab bhi zyada gussa aata hai,
main hasne lagta hoon.

Shayad isliye,
kyunki mujhe samajh nahi aata
ki karna kya hai.

Ho sakta hai…
pata nahi…

Mere mann mein kya chal raha hai?
Main kya soch raha hoon?
Main kya kar raha hoon?

Pata nahi…
ye sab kab khatam hoga.

✨ Raat ke aage sooraj bhi bekaar sa lagta hai, ๐ŸŒ™๐Ÿ’ซ
Har din bas ek naya intezaar sa lagta hai… ⏳
Sochta hoon sab kuch theek ho jaayega, ๐Ÿคž
par har faisla ek naya imtihaan sa lagta hai… ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ’ญ

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