Dev

 Ahhhhhhh, This is too much! I feel exhausted, nervous, overwhelmed, and hopeless. I don't know why this keeps happening to me—it’s so draining. Whenever I make a plan, someone interrupts me with household tasks. I feel guilty about refusing because I don’t want anyone to think I’m disrespectful or a bad person. But it’s suffocating. Sharing Some Recent Actions: I made a plan last night and woke up early today, feeling prepared to study. I freshened up, organized my desk, and just as I started studying, my mom came and asked me to boil milk for her since she was running late for school (she’s a teacher). I thought, "Okay, this won’t take much time," so I got up and did it. But then, after 30 minutes, my dad needed tea and breakfast. Again, I stepped away to help. Just as I finished, he returned after a while, asking for more help. I was left wondering if I’d even get a chance to study today. I feel overwhelmed 😩😫 and stuck because I can’t say no. I think to myself, ...

 Disclaimer: This blog is also written in Hinglish because I believe that Hinglish conveys feelings better. Kaha se shuru karun, samajh nahi aa raha hai. Kuch din pehle ek novel ka chapter padha tha, “Yahi Sach Hai.” Yeh mere dil ke kareeb hai. Iss chapter ko maine teen baar padha hai, aur har baar kuch naya seekhne ko mila. Waise yeh novel mujhe meri badi didi ne diya tha, aur unka favourite chapter bhi ye hi hai. Isme kuch lines mujhe bahut pasand aayi, jaise: "फिर अठारह वर्ष की आयु में किया हुआ प्यार भी कोई प्यार होता है भला! निरा बचपन होता है, महज पागलपन ! उसमें आवेश रहता है पर स्थायित्व नहीं, गति रहती है पर गहराई नहीं। जिस वेग से वह आरम्भ होता है, जरा-सा झटका लगने पर उसी वेग से टूट भी जाता है।... और उसके बाद आहों, आँसुओं और सिसकियों का एक दौर, सारी दुनिया की निस्सारता और आत्महत्या करने के अनेकानेक संकल्प और फिर एक तीखी घृणा। जैसे ही जीवन को दूसरा आधार मिल जाता है, उन सबको भूलने में एक दिन भी नहीं लगता। फिर तो वह सब ऐसी बेवकूफ़ी लगती है, जिस पर बैठकर घंटों हँसने की तबीयत होती ...

  Disclaimer: This blog is written in Hinglish because I believe that Hinglish conveys feelings better. To aisa nahi hai ki main dost banana nahi chahta, par main thoda sa darta aur ghabrata huin. Aur kabhi-kabhi lagta hai jisko maine apna dost mana, kahin woh mujhe dhoka na de de. Isliye, aaj se 8 mahine pehle ek ladki ko dekha tha. Mujhe usse baat karni thi, par ghabrahat aur logon ke dar ki wajah se main peeche hat gaya. Instead of talking face-to-face, I started chatting with her online. Mere according, woh mujhe sabse achhi dost lagti hai. Jab bhi usse baat karta hoon, mann halka ho jata hai. Kabhi kabhi mann karta hai ki bas usse gale lagake thank you bolun—har us cheez ke liye jo maine usse seekhi hai. ❤️ Woh mujhse chhoti hai, par baatein badi-badi karti hai. Ek alag hi vibe hai uske saath. Mujhe hamesha ek aise dost ki zarurat thi jo samjhe aur guide kare, aur woh aisi hai. Kabhi kabhi maine apni dost ko kuch offensive reels bhej diye, jinka matlab mujhe nahi pata tha. Par...

Every new year gives us a fresh start, a chance to reflect, and make changes. But let’s be honest: how many of us actually stick to those promises? We try, we fail, and sometimes we repeat the same mistakes. This time, I want to do better, and it all starts with small steps. This year, I looked back at my past mistakes and successes. While I made a lot of errors, I also learned from them. I realized that even the worst days teach us something, and those lessons can help us grow. I don’t have a big circle of friends, but my joint family is my biggest strength. They’re supportive, loving, and yes, a bit annoying at times! Living in a village means a simpler life, but it’s one I’ve grown to appreciate. Strangely, my closest connections are my online friends. There’s a girl I met on Instagram—she’s wise beyond her years and always knows the right thing to say. She’s taught me that even small, kind words can make a big difference. This year, I feel more hopeful and determined. I’ve decided ...